Archive for the Completely Fabricated Humor Category

Attention! Log4J – Complete Configuration Reference Now Available From O’Reilly!

Posted in Books, Completely Fabricated Humor, Open Source, Software Development, The World of IT on October 28, 2009 by jstevenperry

Okay, maggot, if you are a serious Java programmer and want a complete reference to log4j configuration, you need this PDF!

Clicking this link may change your life.

Now get out your wallet and buy 20 (hey, they’re only 5 bucks each!).

Carry on.

It’s Google Air!

Posted in Completely Fabricated Humor on July 20, 2009 by jstevenperry

You loved Google Search. You went wild for Google Earth, iGoogle and GMail. Just when you thought Google had innovated everything there is to innovate, we brought you Google Maps, Google Desktop and Google Mobile!

Does your old air leave you flat? Does this ever happen to you: you breathe in, breathe out and it feels great! But 2-5 seconds later you have to do it all again. What a drag! There’s got to be a better way!

Introducing new Google Air! It’s the revolutionary air from Google, the company that’s bringing you everything. With one whiff of Google Air, you don’t need to breathe but once every 60 seconds. Amazing! The secret is in the patented filtration nanites. They enter your lungs, providing you with clean oxygen, while at the same time destroying harmful chemicals like carbon dioxide, saving you time you would normally spend breathing out. You’ll never breathe the same way again!

And if you call within the next 30 seconds, we’ll double your order. That’s two orders of Google Air for the price of one. Unbelievable!

Act now, supplies are downloading fast!

U.S. Government to Outsource NASA to China

Posted in Completely Fabricated Humor, General, Offshore Outsourcing on December 3, 2007 by jstevenperry

In a surprising move to people with a clue, the United States government announced today that it will outsource functions currently performed by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) to China. At a joint U.S./Chinese press conference in Beijing, a Chinese government spokesman was quoted as saying, “Is historic for U.S. and China and be huge step for relation. Our two country share lot and can say in same thing way too.” President Bush, on hand for the announcement replied, “I’m here today to talk about China.”

The Chinese space program has shown progress lately, launching an unmanned probe to orbit and study the moon. Early this century, the Chinese have made enormous advances in space technology, launching a man into orbit and bringing him safely to Earth, as shown in this 2005 photograph.

Chinese orbit the Earth

Seriously, I’m not making this part up…Read the article here

When asked for comment, a U.S. government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the current trend in IT outsourcing was used as a model, and that the “purely boneheaded reasoning to base such critical business function purely on the basis of cost as is done in IT did not play a factor here.” When reminded that the U.S. put a man in orbit more than 45 years ago, and that outsourcing America’s space agenda to a country that is just now doing that might be viewed as some as a step backwards the official said, “What do you know about science? There you liberal media people go again. I’m mean, no comment.”

A phone call to NASA headquarters was not immediately returned.