I know someone – maybe it’s me – who doesn’t know how to have a relationship. This person thinks it’s okay to expect the other party to initiate all the interaction, all the contact, take all the risks, and yet still consider that being in a relationship. That’s, well, lame. But I can see a certain genius behind it. See, if you never take a risk, never initiate contact, never put yourself out there, you can never get hurt. To someone so afraid of rejection it’s terminally painful to consider opening yourself up to such potential pain this is unacceptable. On the flip side, if the one doing all the work does something you don’t like, you can sit back and point out the mistake.
It’s a great way to avoid ever being wrong (and having to apologize for it), while still fooling yourself to think that you’re in a relationship. Very clever. And a very sad, lonely way to live. If you live this way, you’re probably wondering why your relationships always fail. “I haven’t done anything wrong,” you say. “I was completely honest about everything,” you say. That may be true, but you aren’t capable of true intimacy. And you’ll never be able to truly have a partner. Just a string of relationships that fizzle out. The other person constantly wondering why you don’t meet their needs, and you wondering why every relationship you get into ends with a whimper.
You just don’t get it. Or maybe I’m talking about me. You decide. Oh, wait. That would involve you actually doing something.